(Published in City Parent)

With summer holidays just around the corner, many working parents will be leaving their children to fend for themselves during the day. For many parents, this is a source of anxiety.

Whether a child is ten or 16, there are valid concerns associated with leaving a child or teen unsupervised. However, there are steps that parents can take to make sure their child is not at risk for potential ‘home alone’ dangers.

Toronto Police Services Staff Sergeant Gord Barratt, who is in charge of the community programs section of community policing support, says his single most important piece of advice for parents leaving their children home alone is to make sure your children know where you are and how to contact you.

“Give them a contact phone number where you can be reached and notify your next-door neighbours and people that you know and trust,” he says. “To simply walk away and leave the child in the home unsupervised without any form of support network is a formula for disaster.”

Another piece of advice Barratt has for parents is to enroll your child in a babysitting course – even if s/he doesn’t plan on doing any babysitting.

The course can teach a child first-aid essentials, including how to perform the Heimlich maneuver on himself.

Making sure your child knows all of the emergency numbers, including 9-1-1, is also essential. It also doesn’t hurt to leave phone numbers of neighbours in case there is a problem.

Another important precaution parents can take is to instruct their child not to open the door to strangers. Also, if someone calls, tell the child not to let the caller know s/he is alone.

“Have them say ‘My parents cant come to the phone right now can I take a message?’” he says.

Barratt suggests giving your child a task while you are away such as cleaning his room, the basement or doing his homework.

“That gives him something to do,” he says.

Is your child ready?

How do you know when your child is ready to stay home alone?

According to Barratt, parents should know their child well and have open lines of communication with him, before they decide he is responsible enough to stay home alone.

Barrett says one the worst-case scenarios of a child being left alone, is the unsupervised house party.

“The kids’ parents are out of town, or go out for the evening, and the kids decided to have some friends over, and those friends tell friends … and hundreds of kids show up uninvited and the house gets trashed,” he says.

The best preventative measure against this type of situation is to have a close relationship with your child and know who his friends are.

Should a teen that is home alone be allowed to have his friends over?

Windsor’s Dr. Bethany King, who holds a doctorate in clinical psychology says it’s a

parental issue.

 “If you know your teen and he is going to have his friends over and watch movies, this isn’t a big problem. If you think that they are coming over and they are going to be raiding your liquor cabinet, doing drugs and things like that, that is a bigger problem,” she says.

Is freedom a good thing?

A child’s maturity level is the biggest factor when deciding if a child is ready to stay home alone, says King.

“There’s such a great difference between a mature 12-year-old and an immature 12-year-old,” she says.

A child who is left home alone should show a level of responsibility that would indicate that she would be safe, and would not be doing something that would put herself at risk, says King.

“It has to do with certain responsibilities. If they make something on the stove do they turn the stove off? Are they trustworthy? Do then tend to get caught in lies all the time?” says King.

How much freedom should a child have when she’s home alone?

King believes that it’s up to the parent, and although it is important to set boundaries for reasons of safety, parents should realize that it will be difficult, if not impossible to enforce some rules, including when a child or teen gets out of bed. Aside from being a difficult rule to enforce, allowing your child to sleep late may actually be a good idea, says King.

 “There are studies that have shown that teenagers’ biological clocks are off from adults’ biological clocks. If you let them get up and get to bed when their bodies tell them when they are tired, and when their body tells them they are awake, they will go to bed at 1 or 2 a.m., and get up at 10 or 11 a.m.,” she says. “Trying to force them to get up at 7 or 8 a.m. actually is very difficult for them.”

Although some structure is good, it is not necessary to schedule your child’s every moment, says King.

Checking in

King believes it is not a bad idea for parents to request that their younger children check in with them during the day. However, she says there is no reason an adolescent should have to call and check in with parents – unless the teen is doing “something unusual”, like going away for the day.

“If you’re that concerned about the safety of your child that you have to have them call half way through the day, my suggestion would be that maybe they shouldn’t be left alone,” she says.

 ‘On Your Own’ Home Safety Checklist (From Canada Safety Council)

Security

• Provide secure locks for all doors and windows.
• Store matches, lighters, medications, household cleaners, and other toxic substances in a safe place. Make sure they are clearly labeled and in their original containers.
• Lock up alcoholic beverages, and check to make sure they do not mysteriously disappear.
• Store firearms and ammunition separately and under lock and key.
• Use light timers so your child doesn’t come home to a dark house.

Fire Safety

• You must have a smoke alarm on each level of the house (or for homes on one level, near the kitchen and all bedrooms). Test them to make sure they all work.
• Replace any broken electrical cords and use no more than two plugs per outlet.
• Keep your hot water heater below 54° C to prevent scalding.

First Aid

Assemble a basic kit with your child, explaining what each item is and how to use it. Include:

• box of different-sized bandages for small cuts;
• sterile gauze pad for larger cuts, with adhesive tape to hold it and small scissors to cut the tape;
• tweezers to remove slivers;
• peroxide to clean cuts and cotton balls to apply it; and
• digital thermometer to check for fever.
• Keep a cold pack in the freezer.